What is your mommy guilt?
Cause I have a lot of it and in different ways! It's not only mom guilt in my book it's also wife guilt and self quilt! Being a mom and a wife is hard work, trying to find time for myself and the things I love to do is even harder... and when I do, I feel GUILTY!
For all you moms you NEED to have self-care at the top of your list every day! I was getting better about this but then I fell off the wagon again and my therapist had to remind me to do three things a day for myself because I'm so bad about it. I can see a big difference when I make taking a shower before bed every night a priority, every morning I make my bed right when I get up. I end up sleeping better because I feel clean and I feel good the next morning because I've started my day off doing something for me even if it's small like making my bed.
If I do have a chance to have any alone time, I end up feeling guilty. During nap time I feel that I should be cleaning or doing laundry that just magically appears right when I think I'm all caught up. I also feel it should be spent with my husband because I know he needs quiet time too as well as time with me. Although for me I need to be okay with allowing myself that time.
AND husbands/boyfriends/baby daddy it's nothing against you but think about your main lady for a second... Just think about how much your littles a hanging all over you when you get home now times that by 1000000000000x and that's what us moms deal with, a constant touch and the last thing we want is to be touched by you every single night 24:7 cause that's what it feels like and if the mom is breastfeeding it's worse and that is exhausting. It's not that we don't want to love you and show you our affection. It's the fact that we just seriously don't want to be touched, we carried a baby 24:7 for 10 months and we finally have a second alone with our own body, just let us have that moment, please. Rant over ---
I know, I know with dads working all day, the last thing he wants to do is deal with a crazy toddler, a crying infant, and/or a moody teenager. But that's literally the life of a parent. I do feel bad, GUILTY that my husband might come home to the crazy kids losing their minds but then I think to myself, that's what I've been dealing with all day and I need a break... again feeling guilty now because I need a break... Yes, I love my kids to the end of the universe but it's a 24:7 job I do which should be more like an 8 to 5 because when you are both home, it's a team effort or it should be! (YEP just called my kids a job... Because it's not a damn vacation every single day) I bust my ass for all three of the kids and my husband. Making appointments, ordering meds, making sure everyone is fed and getting there naps in, bathtime, playtime, teaching them something new, helping get school work done, making sure chores are getting done... (again feeling guilty that the teen has chores but she has to learn the skills I just feel bad because it's my house I should be the one to do it all but it's literally impossible), having dinner ready, cleaning up crazy messes, BIGGEST OF THEM ALL... Making sure that everyone is alive with all 10 fingers and 10 toes. I could go on and on because we normally pay a babysitter or nanny to do the work of watching and teaching our children, it's just a bonus that I'm their mom. They get my unconditional love all day and I'm not a stranger to them. And YES, I do get paid, in the love that my kids have for me and that I can be the one to teach them the things I think are most important like educational material, manners, respect, love, discipline, common sense.
Mom guilt is always on my mind... Am I being selfish because I should embrace that I'm home all day and that should be enough for me... I shouldn't ever need a break because they are my kids and I wanted them... but so did my husband because it takes two! ... or I feel like I should be working to help provide for our family... SO MANY GUILTS ON MY MIND..... Even though I know I'm doing my best, I still feel this way all the time and I'm always trying to justify why I shouldn't feel a certain way about these things because "I did it to myself" ... MORE MOM GUILT
Honestly sounds shitty but after a long ass day with the kids, I would have LOVED to have a few moments and sit in traffic. Cause I'm now hearing phantom crying and I will die if I get asked another random question that I know I've already given the answer several times. To have peace and quiet, until my road rage kicks in would be AMAZING!
Wife guilt because he has to go to work to provide for our family, I know that he had a long day and all he wants to do is enjoy time with his family... but the toddler is having a tantrum, the infant is crying and the teenager has so much sass....... And all I want to do is RUN AWAY because I've been living that crazy all day long and I need time to regain my ability to function but I feel GUILTY because he had a long day at work...... and I need to suck it up... But honestly, do I? Sucking it up every single day is exhausting and when is enough... enough...
ife quilt because he has to go to work to provide for our family, I know that he had a long day and all he wants to do is enjoy time with his family... but the toddler is having a tantrum, the infant is crying and the teenager has so much sass....... And all I want to do is RUN AWAY because I've been living that crazy all day long and I need time to regain my ability to function but I feel GUILTY because he had a long day at work...... and I need to suck it up... But honestly, do I? Sucking it up every single day is exhausting and when is enough... enough...
I hate it when people say I "GET" to be a stay-at-home-mom...... NOPE, I have to because childcare is so flipping expensive and my income wouldn't even cover the cost to have my two little ones inrolled and I tried being a working mom but with the amount of time I lost because my daughter was sick all the time it felt like and if I got sick... was not worth the stress and loss. Also, I worked in a bank and it was getting held up a LOT I was not about to continue to put myself in that situation every day with having the little one that needs me. Plus not raising my kids myself, really bothered me because I felt like I was missing out -MOM GUILT- and I had to stop breastfeeding because I lost my supply when I went back to work so that alone killed me! More Guilt.
Having a toddler just in itself is crazy with potty training, naps, play, emotions but also having an infant and teenager that's doing online school, which also takes up so much of my time with the amount of attention she needs I feel stretch so thin... and guilty because if she needs something and I'm trying to juggle the little kids, I forget or feel like she feels forgotten so I do my best to give her my undivided attention as much as possible. I'm responsible for them every single day it's terrifying, exhausting and emotionally draining in so many ways, I feel like I could always be doing more but with that comes absolutely no sleep and no me time... so I don't do more and I feel guilty all the damn time.
Waking up in the morning is hard enough because yep depression is a bitch and if I want to sleep in a little because I was up at random hours with the kids it's not an option because they are up and ready for the day... But those days where you lay in bed listening to them call for you and you think... oh just a few more seconds... I wake up with instant guilt because they are hungry and I should have just woke up and started the day...
Feeling so much guilt - Not sleeping, Not getting me time, Not finding a balance in life to have a date night with my hubby because anyone that knows me knows that leaving my kids is not easy for me because I'm terrified of someone hurting my kids without me knowing which makes me super picky about who watches my kids and I'm just that mom lol I don't want to miss out on anything... Call me crazy but I have my reasons!