I Spanked My Daughter...
Yep, I spank my kids and I believe that in some situations a child deserves a spanking. If they are putting themselves or others in danger that is what I consider a time when I would spank my children. There is most definitely the fine line between spanking your child to catch their attention and taking it to far. We are all entitled to our opinions and please keep that in mind that we all have flaws, we aren't perfect and mistakes happen. It's what you do in those situations that will separate you from the rest.
I make mistakes on a daily basis but I choose to learn from them and grow because I may be a parent but I'm still learning just like my kids.
One afternoon my daughter was playing like normal and I could see the common signs that she was ready for a nap. Rubbing her eyes, yawning and laying on the ground with a blanket... So I had her go to the bathroom and at this point, she knew that if I ask her to go to the bathroom and try that means nap time. The storm had started, the waterworks were at full flow and nothing would stop them she was so exhausted you could hear it in her cry...
So to her room we went, she was screaming and having a legit meltdown because she didn't want to go to sleep like all toddlers I know, they feel that if they go to sleep they will miss out on something AMAZING! The fight continued and she wouldn't stop she was kicking and screaming throwing a big fit at this point I started to count 1....2.....3 and next came the spanking. Two swats with my hand and she stopped for a second I pulled the blankets up, gave her a kiss and left the room but the fight wasn't over. I left the room, closed the door and just stood in the hallway listening to her scream. I was so beyond mad, frustrated, sad, annoyed but not with her, at myself because I stopped and thought why did I just spank her?? Because she was so exhausted and was having a meltdown and I had lost my patience. There are so many ways that could have gone and I chose to spank her thinking that would help but in all honesty it just made her cry more and did nothing good for the situation. I stood there thinking it all through while she continued to cry I told myself I had two choices, I could walk away or go back in there and tell my daughter that I was sorry, I messed up and that I will try better next time.
I chose to do just that, I walked right back in her room gave her a big hug and told her "I'm so so sorry baby girl, I shouldn't have spanked you and I promise to do better." I asked her if I could lay down with her and snuggle. So from that moment I realized that I lost my cool with her and was frustrated because all I wanted was for her to go to sleep because I knew she was tired and also because that's my only quiet time during the day, the baby was already asleep, so she was either going to end up waking him up from her crying but it that also means he'll wake up sooner cause he's already been asleep ... Just all these thoughts were going through my head but what was going through hers?!?! And that's when I stopped and thought, you know what may be all she wanted was my full undivided attention for 5 min to snuggle her and love on her before she fell asleep. I'm not saying that this works every time because believe me it doesn't but it's definitely made a difference. She still has her meltdowns and sometimes snuggles aren't the cure but we try.
We have taught her to practice apologizing when she makes a mistake so why wouldn't I do the same, why would I not show her the skill we are trying to teach her? They say "treat people the way you want to be treated", no matter if you are the authority figure or not you need to still be respectful and it's okay to show weakness as parents because we are all human we all make mistakes. If I want my daughter to be respectful to others and be the best version of herself, why wouldn't I expect that for myself?
This all happened a couple of months ago... Today it went down almost the same way both kids were tired and ready for nap time but Khloe wasn't okay with the idea even though she was falling asleep on the floor downstairs.....
Put them both to bed, we snuggled but she was still having a meltdown so I let her know if she didn't stop that I was going to leave the room this battle went on for about 10 min because she would pull it together and fall apart time after time... So I left the room she cried and then stopped. Derek fell asleep and the next thing I know she's yelling for him to wake up... MOMMY WAS MAD, I went in her room, told her to lay down... that didn't go over well so I told her she could come lay in my room with me while I worked... She was still throwing a fit... So we tried to snuggle in my bed that didn't work so off to her bed again we went... She cried and cried and cried some more... woke the baby up in the process... GUESS WHO IS NOW ASLEEP... Khloe but now... the baby is up and crying... WHY?!??!?!!?!
I know that other parents have their way of doing things and I could have just let her stay up longer until she was fully ready to take a nap but let me tell you something that girl will never nap she would never go to bed if I didn't direct her that way, she will keep going all day and night non stop if I let her and she would be a pill! And here I am today, not going to have any quiet time or just time for myself because the naps are separate today... This is so hard as a stay at home parent because all day I listen to crying non stop it feels like and the stimulation of constantly being touched gets to be way too much at times. I love my kids with everything in me but sometimes I need a break. I don't get a 5 min break I don't get a lunch break to just be alone for a few with no one needing me for anything because when the little ones are sleeping I'm helping my teenager with homework or having our check-in talk because that's the only quiet time for us to be able to talk... I'm just ranting now soooo I'm done. But I know you get it.
Much love to you all! It's not easy being a mom or dad!