• Kelsee Feist

After baby # 2 Self Confidence?! Where?!

Updated: Apr 2, 2019

What you can't see in the picture on the left is the control top underwear, girdle, and postpartum control top pants that holding in all my mom flab... the top picture.... is all me nothing squeezing me in.... and to be able to say that feels AMAZING! It's been a hard journey but I would do it again and I'm not done yet!

I don't know about you but after baby number two I lost myself. He's almost a year old and I'm still a little lost but not like I was. I had zero self-confidence, I was crying in the shower every single day and I was gaining weight by the seconds! IT WAS TERRIBLE, and I would cry because I felt like shit and felt like I wasn't doing enough for my kids and husband. So emotional and lost. I call it my quarter-life crises and it's a real thing.

Eating ice cream for a snack, or not eating I was struggling with both. Not being able to take a nap after having my son because I had a toddler too. MAN that was really hard still is.. I find myself sleeping with my eyes open a lot! And don't get me started on that paralyzed feeling, not sure if you've ever felt it but it sucks. The kids go down and FINALLY mommy gets time to do some things... I should take a nap... but nope, I need to clean but I want to do something else, should definitely swap the laundry... again, oh crap I have to pay that one bill, or if I eat right now I won't have to share my food, oh but to take a shower would be AMAZING - this might wake the kids up sooo probably not a good idea... but I need to clean these toys up for the millionth time today because it'll make me feel better..... I should definitely brush and floss my teeth now!

Did I mention how lost I've felt... I have an overabundance of makeup and all I want to do is play with it and make my face all shiny and pretty, but nope I'm over here with dry patches along with oily spots and residue from I don't even know what... spit up... could be butt cream or yah.... that is poop .... how in the world!?

Side note: Do you feel like after your kid has a massive blow out no matter how good you get them and everything that was exploded on cleaned up, bath and all..... Can you still smell that god awful smell... FOR A WEEK it feels like and it's just been one day of deep cleaning because the smell won't go away... I search everywhere can never find the source...

Back to the topic here.

SO one day I was scrolling on Facebook and saw my aunts friend who had lost a bunch weight and you know how you always see those posts of people you don't know losing weight and you're like sure... I can totally do it... NOT! Well, I did know her and I was like DAMN girl GET IT! At that moment I was like she did it, how?! I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS! I sent her a message to ask her first because let's be real this is always a question we ask.... how much did you work out?! -Cause I'm lazy and working out isn't always on my todo list. But the best answer I would have ever gotten was NOPE... She is making abs in her kitchen and it's amazing! I can definitely do this... But can I?! Because I LOVE SWEETS... but my mind literally changed at the moment and I just felt better I felt like okay I can do this it's all about mind over everything!

I started my journey at making myself better from that one message and I'm still going on the journey today! I have oops days and I have amazing days, I have fluffy weeks and I have super skinny weeks... But my mental health is literally where I had to start because crying in the shower all the time feeling like shit and down in the dumps was literally eating me alive. I struggle every damn day don't get it twisted... The hardest part of my day is opening my eyes but once I do I force myself out of bed and to make my bed... I force myself to eat because I've struggled with it my entire life.... but I choose to better myself and to celebrate the little things. Like right now I haven't had alone time in a while but taking an hr to myself so I can pay some bills send some emails and enjoy writing a little blog post for whoever needs to read it, helps me feel like today I did something and it felt good!

Let me help you help yourself... Keep on this journey with me through my blog, Facebook, Instagram or heck send me a message and lets chat because I want to help! I know I'm not an expert at anything because who is but I feel like I'm good at helping and listening.


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